I’m not new to college, I’ve been there for a long time now in fact. But my time there is drawing to a close, as I enter my last few weeks and take my exams, I can’t help but feel a little sad. Sad that I didn’t do more, sad that I didn’t keep in contact with those who left and worse so, there’s the prospect of the people I see everyday of my life fading away like my school friends or my childhood friends. What if all those promises of ‘I’ll call you every day!’ And ‘we’ll be coming to visit you all the time’ fall short and empty. What would you do? Do I save myself the pain of slowly loosing them from my life by cutting them out now? It’s like being trapped in a small corner and being told it’s the best and freest you’ve ever been. Though you may be moving forward and making a life for your self, can’t you spare a thought for what might happen? Those who you’ve relied on, partied with, pleaded with, will go away? Just find someone to replace you? I know we live in an age of individuality, but at what point does being and individual make you replaceable, make you disposable?
I should be stressed over my terminal exams which dictate my future, but instead the stress is present and torn. Torn between my future and happiness and my friends and happiness. Either way I’d lose happiness. Lose some of my self, is that growing up? Is that how people mature? How we survive? If so, why do we want to grow up? Why would you want to lose that precious time of your youth and your well being, the days spent with people who didn’t need you to pay, or be intellectual. Just to ‘be’. I don’t mean to make a Beatles cliché but it does reflect how we act in society, how we act through out the many rights of passage that seem to make us change our entire being just to fit into the pre-decided shape of your future. Is it all worth it?