Popping the question.

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No. I’m not getting married. Shockingly the various male suiters haven’t plucked up the bollocks to marry me. Instead, I want to talk about that simple question “Are you ok?” It’s such a good question, and i’m so sick of it being me question to ask. Just once, once I would like someone to know me well enough to ask me it, ask me it when I really needed, no prompting; just knowing when to ask.

You get an awful sense of loneliness when people fail to meet the most basic of expectations, I know it’s bigoted to say I ‘expect’ people to be a certain way, but when it comes to my friends, I at least want them to know me. I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask. Otherwise i’m left in this scenario again and again, alone and empty, with no one to voice my anguish too. I feel so alone, so very, uncontrollably, alone. And faced with the awkward paradigm of edging someone into asking you feels like cheating. It feels like you’re cheating at friendship. Curse this modern age, if only they could see my face, how I see theirs when they are left in this position. They’d come running. Instead they must read me from my lack of replies and mildly blunt responses. My friends, if you’re reading this, i’m not ok, i’m not alright and I could really use those beautiful three words, “are you ok?”.

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